The Seed Blog: When You Can't Climb Out of the Hole

Today I want to cover a topic which is probably affecting everyone in this room. I’m not a psychiatrist or therapist, but have experienced deep depression personally. This is not an expected cure-all for clinical depression—although, never count out what God will do—but a wakeup call that there is a way out and that depression does its best work in darkness alone. And for the countless others who may hear this message who are not fighting clinical depression but a disorder: you are darkened, weakened, stopped in your tracks almost daily with a constant cloud of private misery—understand you are not alone. One in three of all Americans suffer from Anxiety and Depression Disorder. Almost 50% of young adults (18-24) suffer from Anxiety and Depression Disorder. Since the increase during the pandemic: suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death for those 10 to 34/ 1 in every 4 young adults (18-24) have seriously considered taking their own life. Those that don't get to the point of suicidal contemplation still suffer from relationship problems and divorce; loneliness and isolation; a lack of any joy or purpose in life. And when you do have a moment of joy, one wrong thought instantly takes you to a private place of dread and hopelessness again.

Many suffer from dependency issues bringing much strife (alcohol, drugs, porn, affairs, etc.), and many people—especially in church where we should all have it together in faith—suffer agony and hopelessness in silence, feeling worthless, defeated, and all alone, not wanting anyone else to know how badly you are suffering in embarrassment or fear of the stigma. Many people reach a point of serious private depression because they suffer from internal struggles and shame for sins committed that can never be taken back or made right; for lost relationships or loved ones which they cannot understand and feel they cannot recover from; for thoughts or impulses they feel they cannot control and cannot rest until they are cured or accepted; for anger, resentment, guilt over abuse they have been subjected to in life, changing their view of life and themselves; for unfair circumstances that we feel we don't deserve that won't go away. We so often get caught in a cycle of trying to sort these issues out in our own understanding—until we can get the answer we need, until we can be freed from the shameful impulses, until we can get the acceptance we crave—we cannot turn off the obsession; we cannot stop our minds from dwelling on this one issue no matter what else is good in our lives; until we can no longer function normally, we are hopelessly caught in a loop of despair, a thought process we always come back to; and nothing else matters in life until this one thing is resolved, tainting our view of everything else in life. Ever been there? Are you there now? I used to think that suicidal people were just being selfish until I spent a considerable amount of time in that mind frame myself and realized that it's not that you don't care about those around you, but that you truly do feel you would be making their life better if you were not present—you truly do feel there is nothing left for you to contribute. Before we even go on with this study. know that never will your absence make it better for those you love. It will only add to their anguish, guilt, emptiness and loneliness. So, even when you cannot form another coherent thought, hold to the fact that your absence will hurt everyone you love. not help them. Do not let Satan drive you to this despairing lie. Mental and emotional distress are not signs that you are weird, or different, or broken. They are very real struggles for every human being alive, and Scriptures show us that many of the greatest Saints of God used most powerfully and intimately in His Plan suffered some of the worst struggles in depression and anxiety. Listen to these powerful men of God and get past the poetic beauty of their writing; s to realize these are heart-felt pleas of overwhelming depression: Job 30:15-20 (Job); 1 Kings 19:4 (Elijah); Psalm 6:2-3, 6-7 (David); Jeremiah 20:14-18 (Jeremiah). Does this help you realize that you are not in solitude when you feel this despairing; that you are not weird, broken or different; that life is not over for you and you don't need to hide in pain—but that you are simply overwhelmed by a sinful world and have accepted a tainted view of real truth in who you are and what is truly important?
Please understand this one thing before we continue: there are very real physical and chemical reasons for depression which need to be treated with medication and counsel, just as there are very real reasons we require help and medication with our physical ailments. Do not ever be ashamed or feel it is "unscriptural" to get the help needed in this area. We all need to realize this unmistakable fact which is clearly and powerfully proven by the massive increase in depression and anxiety in our fast-declining culture. Depression that was brought on by societal changes, worldview changes and not just chemical imbalances; our mindset, worldview are anchors for hope and purpose, and they overwhelmingly alter our mental, emotional and spiritual state and ultimately set the stage for much of the depression which we experience. Depression in its most raw form is a thirst that we cannot quench until it becomes an obsession for our existence, leading to despair of all hope and chance to continue. If you are dying from extreme, literal thirst, I can tell you all day about the biological need for water in your physical body; I can explain to you all the ways which fresh water will re-hydrate you again; I can tell you the joy you will experience from that first taste of cold water after being thirsty so long—but what is the only things that will actually help you? Just getting a drink of that ice-cold water yourself. Medications, counseling can both help you to finally hold the glass, but it must be the water which ultimately cures the thirst. So, let's skip the theological debates and the self-help talks, and drink some water together.
If much of our depression, worry and hopelessness comes from an improper thought process and world view, then the answer to much of our depression comes from a true, deep renewing of our fundamental way of looking at our life: Romans 12:2; 2 Corinthians 10:3-5; Philippians 4:8. If you are struggling silently with depression, grief or even suicidal thoughts what you are doing now obviously isn't working. Please listen like your life depends upon it and let today be the day you hit the "reset" button. Let these truths drown out your current way of thinking and do not be offended by these comments, but be changed: Proverbs 4:20-23. 1) Thankfulness: Much of our negativity and loss of joy comes when an overwhelming struggle changes our entire view of life until it removes the reality of all we do have in life, and we become oblivious—thankless—in our pain to all the fantastic blessings we have in our lives. If nothing ever changes, look at all you have to be thankful for to live passionately for right now. The unimaginable treasures of everyday life—created for you to take in, and enjoy—all so you will notice and experience Him; the loved ones in your life, that are your greatest blessing and mean so much to you; the countless blessings we take for granted in our freedom, abundance, and everyday life; the awesome chance and ability to incredibly affect the lives of those around you with your love and presence above all other people that we so often waste every day. In one moment, all of these things could be something wished for again. Don't waste them another day; don’t miss them in paralyzed fear and isolation because of the one thing in your life that is bad or unresolved. Take the opportunity in the midst of trials to relish in and appreciate them. And when all else is futile, realize this truth: blessings and joys have been bought for you, and you will be experiencing these things very soon. Drink in each of these things and focus on each one to the fullest, being thankful to the One Who has given them to us. 2) Conditional Worth: understand just how much of your happiness is taken away because of our own warped view of self-worth. How much of your anxiety is caused by feeling you did something that others would despise you for if they knew; by feeling you are inadequate and less than others; by having hurt someone so badly that you feel undeserving of happiness or acceptance ever again; by having impulses or thoughts that you cannot understand or control making you feel less worthy or hopeless? Firstly, put down the phone and anything else you use to constantly compare your life, your success, your righteousness to someone else—most of it is fake anyway (posted by someone else who is trying to make up for their own insecurities just like you have), and realize that who you are is based soundly upon One Person in the Universe—and He just happens to think you are awesome right where you are in all of your mess and failure—enough to die for you. You cannot look around at Creation and at the wonder of your own body and conscience, the wonders that modern astronomy and biology are uncovering and not know that Our God exists. If you are completely honest, all facades aside, you have to look deeply into your heart and also recognize that there is something very wrong with you—something you inherently know is broken: Know that you are selfish and demanding at the core; know that you have warped and hellish influences; know that you have desires, because of a sin nature that are bent, broken, and wrong; know that your natural tendencies will cause thoughts, feelings and actions which are shocking and destructive; and know that you are not alone in these inescapable emotions and impulses. Your pain, anger, apathy, lust, warped sexual views are all natural reactions in our fallen nature to the abuse, teachings and influences of a fallen world. We are unworthy because of these things, but praise Jesus. He loves us so much as we are that He alone has made a way to save us. You do not need to feel like you are unworthy or weird because of your fallen nature. You do not need to feel unlovable or different until you can change who you are right now. You do not need to perform for anyone or impress anyone to be worthy of love right now. You do not need to fix your mind. solve your issues, understand why something has happened, or fix your life before you can have a right to rest or feel joy. You simply need to surrender to His love and care just as you are right now and rest, trusting that He loves you as you are, and trusting that He will change your heart and mind; giving Him your thoughts, failures and struggles just as they are—unfinished, and unresolved. You are His, therefore your struggles are His. Trust His Word; follow His ways—however hard and against your nature it seems—with abandon; trusting Him to give you His mind and heart. Find new freedom in accepting that you are not worthy, but He wants you right where you are until He can bring you understanding and clarity. Stop looking for God in a whirlwind to change everything around you, and start looking for Him inside of your soul, knowing true release from depression, true acceptance. true happiness really is in absolute, intimate communion with Him. We were made by Him to only find contentment, healing and joy in this way. His Nature which has been crafted into our souls makes us aware of our own insignificance and dirtiness. But His love and passion for us gives us joy and acceptance of ourselves—even in faults—because He has mase us whole again.
Give that same selfless love to others who are just as undeserving. To God—in His righteousness and love—we are weird, unworthy. should be alone; but because of His Incredible compassion you don't have to impress anyone—not even Him. You simply have to give it all to Him, messed up and unresolved, and give yourself permission to be joyful and free again; trusting His love, His power and intelligence to solve what you cannot, and then surrender to His love and truth; living a new life for others above self, helping them to see where they can take their brokenness as well: Psalm 31:7-16.
Are you ready to surrender your pain and confusion totally to Him and trust?