 Marriage is AWESOME, GROWING, GLORIFYING! In our rapidly shifting "cultural" morals today... We have watched as marriage has legally…Been completely redefined in this country... (With more changes surely to come!) The number of people getting married today, according to information from an April 2020 U.S. News And World Report...Is at it's lowest level since the Federal Government began recording data in 1867! (1) Experts say the reasoning behind this incredibly low number of marriages in today's culture is due to... (Listen to these!)
- Cohabitation is becoming not only accepted… BUT THE NORM in Westernized Countries! (With higher numbers than ever before) - The number of Americans under the age of 25yrs old who are cohabitating... (Living together)... (9%) - Are literally higher than the number of people in the same age bracket who are married! (7%) (2) (1) U.S. Marriage Rate Hits Historic Low, U.S. News, By Gaby Galvin , April 29, 2020, Retrieved on Sept 19, 2020 from https://www.usnews.com/news/healthiest-communities/articles/2020-04-29/us-marriage-rate-drops-to-record-low (2) The Divorce rate Is Dropping. That may Not Actually Be Good News, TIME, By Belinda Luscombe, Nov 26, 2018, retrieved on Sept 19, 2020 from https://time.com/5434949/divorce-rate-children-marriage-benefits/ Committed relationships between a man and a woman...And the God ordained structure of family are fast becoming the minority! Media, political correctness, and even educational curriculum...Are questioning, ridiculing and attacking the existence of husbands, wives and the family as God ordained! But the much greater concern for Christians today...Is NOT what is happening in the culture... But right here in our churches! We show shock and disdain for how marriage is redefined and abused... And yet... WE AS CHRISTIANS... Have long since "redefined" marriage according to our wants and needs...Creating our own rules... Over God's Plan! It has become almost common in church-attending, professing Christians...To be ignorant of… Or worse... Completely uncaring and unconcerned with...God's clear, firm commands about the most important relationship we could have on this earth! We date and marry unbelievers...Have unmarried sexual relations without a thought...Live disrespectful and independent lives while we are married...Divorce and remarry for any reason, to our heart's content... Many of those who ARE in God’s Design for marriage…Have embraced worldly views...Of why we should get married...What to expect in the marriage...And how to live a married life...Rather than God's Views! Leaving many Christians who do remain married…Unhappy, tense, cold, hurt, hostile or alone! Why are we NOT just as adamant and passionate about these sins against marriage... As we are the world's redefinition? GOD'S PLAN FOR MARRIAGE...Let me start with a foundation of two hard truths about marriage today... ONE - There is far too much work to be done... There are far too many outside enemies trying to destroy us...To be completely distracted and obsessed with the drama of selfish, immature relationships...Staying inwardly focused and paralyzed from doing anything for God! TWO - We MUST rid our minds of the self-serving... "They don't treat me right", "I just don't love them like I did", "They've changed", "We just don't agree", "I'm just tired of the struggle", "I need my freedom!" Attitudes! And totally renew our understanding of marriage...As God intended it to be! Once and for all! God did not create marriage to be our meet all, supply all, fulfill all answer! Many go into marriage with the idea that it is your spouse's responsibility…To meet all of your needs... And keep you happy at all times! And your relationship with them... Your acceptance by them...Becomes your most influential factor of self and life! So when things get hard, we have no commitment to see them through! When we are not treated as we should be, we quit! When it's not fair, we leave!When they have issues, problems, and hang-ups... We don't have time for, or deserve the mess! Because there is always someone out there that could be an upgrade...That would make me happier...That would definitely treat me better than YOU! It becomes a relationship based solely on how accepted I am...How special I feel...How perfectly I'm treated... Because YOUR fulfillment in the relationship has become an obsession! NEVER... Did God orchestrate marriage simply to fill this need!! In actuality... Marriage is almost the exact opposite of this mentality! God ordained marriage, to be the joining of your life to another...For the reason of growing them,Supporting them, Standing by them in their failures and faults... And showing unconditional love, no matter the cost... Because you have chosen them...Joined steadfastly with them...Placed unfathomable worth on them, even above self...Made them a part of yourself! To face anything that comes… Together! Marriage was intended to be a joining of two lives as Warriors who help one another through the battle...Even in failure... Even when it's hard... Even in defeat! To be the someone who will always be there...As God is for YOU! Two against the world... Genesis 2:18, 21-24 (ESV) 18 Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”... 21 So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. First of all... Realize that God does nothing by mistake...Eve was taken from his side... To stand by HIS SIDE... Not behind... Not in front! Matthew Henry said it beautifully in his commentary: "The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved." - Matthew Henry, Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible, Volume I (Genesis to Deuteronomy) And note this precious, obvious fact...God made it clear that a WOMAN was the intimate, literal part of man... Who made him complete! That her creation began as a literal part of him... As one together! Male and female, to be complete! In the Image of God... Together! Why? UNITY! But now... Please take note of a powerful word in the Hebrew Language...That has been used to disrespect and lower the value of women for ages...But in reality... Lifts them to their rightful status...AND TEACHES THE FOUNDATION OF WHAT MARRIAGE WAS DESIGNED TO BE IN GOD'S EYES… FROM DAY ONE!! This word used for, "Helper", or "Helpmeet" in the KJV... Is 'Ezer (ay'-zer)... The root word it comes from "Azar" literally means:To surround, to protect, assist & support in times of hardship & distress! Ezer is NOT a word that means help as an assistant or servant!! As so many have unknowingly and wrongfully taught! I found the root word it is derived from, 77 times in the Old Testament... It is used to describe mighty men in combat a number of times...But most often to describe God Himself, rescuing in battle! Or saving the powerless...Or coming to the aid of the hopeless...It is almost always used in... Either a military protection and aid...Or bringing hope and help to the defeated or overwhelmed! In each use, it describes standing alongside another…Protecting, providing, defending, uplifting, strengthening, & fighting the battles with them!!!! 2 Chronicles 25:8 (ESV) 8 But go, act, be strong for the battle. Why should you suppose that God will cast you down before the enemy? For God has power to help or to cast down.” 2 Chronicles 32:8 (ESV) 8 ...but with us is the LORD our God, to help us and to fight our battles.” And the people took confidence from the words of Hezekiah king of Judah. Job 26:1-2 (ESV) 1 Then Job answered and said: 2 “How you have helped him who has no power! How you have saved the arm that has no strength! Psalm 121:1-2 (ESV) 1 I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? 2 My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth. HEREIN, LIES THE TRUTH BEHIND WHAT MARRIAGE IS ALL ABOUT! The reason we are NOT to give up, and give out! The reason God does not give permission to throw each other away! The reason God compares a man and his wife to Jesus and the Church! Ephesians 5:31-32 (ESV) 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. This word describes someone who stands along side another...When they are "weak, broken, depressed and needy!” When they cannot make it on their own! When they have sinned or fallen...Never giving up...But being the one to lift them, save them... When all others have LEFT! THIS IS WHERE THE TRUEST, STRONGEST LOVE THAT COULD EVER BE FELT IS FORGED!!! IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT FAITHFULNESS THROUGH TRIALS! There is a modern-day illustration to give us a beautiful idea of what God has in mind here! In the U.S. Army today...Each soldier is assigned a partner soldier called a…"Battle Buddy”! LISTEN CAREFULLY TO THEIR DUTIES TO ONE ANOTHER! They go with them everywhere, at all times... They watch over each other continually...Look for signs of stress, and depression...Help each other understand and follow directions...Boost each other's morale, encourage, and motivate one another...Guard each other in dangerous situations...Assist each other in communication... These soldiers are literally, "Brothers in Arms!" This is so similar to what God has called us to be as husbands and wives! He has called us to all of the intimacy, romance and passion of a fairytale couple... This is proven in Song of Solomon, and in other Scriptures...But the deeper, sweeter, more important part of marriage...The part that actually makes the intimacy even more special...Is that God has called us together to be each other's, "Ezer!" You have been called alongside your spouse for these reasons... Listen! To learn them better than anyone...Pay attention to their needs, wants, dreams, fears, weaknesses, and shortcomings...To lift them up them when they fail...That means loving and standing by them even when their failures and shortcomings involve how you are treated or how you feel! To encourage them when they are too weary to continue...Be their #1 fan… NOT their #1 critic or competitor! To love them when they are undeserving...Just as you're loved undeservedly... May be biggest chance for true love and repentance! To work to meet their needs physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually... - Praying for them, and with them... - Defending them from other's attacks! - Knowing and supporting their fears and weaknesses... - Enthusiastically being everything they need sexually... Because you are not just called to be pampered and happy... You are called to fight alongside…And be everything to your, "Battle Buddy!" And the emotion of love and desire…Grows best from the GIVING of one’s self…Not the taking and expecting! But what we so often do...Is place so much of our dependence for worth, success, happiness and fulfillment...In how they perform for US... In how they treat us... In how strong they are! That when they fail... When they fall... When they sin against us...We are so hurt... So betrayed... So unhappy in life...That we fall with them... Become discouraged with them...Ultimately even giving up on them...To find our happiness elsewhere! Marriage was never meant for your spouse to be all of this to you... Listen... Luke 14:25-26 (ESV) 25 Now great crowds accompanied him, and he turned and said to them, 26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate (By comparison) his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. GOD is suppose to be your Ultimate Source of life, happiness, worth and strength...So that WHEN your spouse falls...You have Power to draw from, so they can rise again! Serve them when they can't serve! Love them when they don't love back! Through HIM Who strengthens! When most of the world sees reasons for why a marriage is ready to be given up on... Our TRUEST REASON for marriage in God's Eyes... HAS JUST BEGUN! NOW... PLEASE GET THIS NEXT FACT...We are not just called to focus on each other...So we can build the best relationship possible...We are called to SERVE in this WAR against Satan and his horde!!! We are "Battle Buddies" with a MISSION before us! TO SERVE CHRIST TOGETHER, AS ONE! If we could get this fact...If we could turn our focus towards finding and doing the Will of God with all that we have in us... Together...We would be too busy to quarrel over frivolous things...We would not be so obsessed over things of this world! What would happen if two Battle Buddies in the Army...Got so involved in hanging out…And just doing nice things for one another...That they lost all focus on the war around them? Or even worse… What if they argued so much over how they weren't really helping each other…They stopped fighting the battle at hand? Would they be helping the cause? Would they be putting each other at risk from the real enemy? BINGO! Their job is to support and strengthen each other... SO they CAN WIN the war together! And in the process...In the shared experiences & struggles...They gain trust, admiration, loyalty, and care for one another...Which is deeper than anything they could conjure up… Without serving each other in the mission! The world is working to tear us apart... To destroy God's Truth... To steal our Faith! We are too wrapped up in our selfish worlds to fight back...We have missed where the battle truly IS... We are so self-absorbed that we are not placing God first! Marriage was designed by God to be a way for us to love, support, and defend one another...AS we serve OUR GOD!! THIS… IS WHY GOD SAYS THE ONLY REASONS YOU HAVE TO EVER LEAVE YOUR BATTLE BUDDY...Is DEATH... 1 Corinthians 7:39 (ESV) 39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
Matthew 19:8-9 (ESV) 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” If an unbelieving spouse LEAVES YOU! 1 Corinthians 7:15 (ESV) 15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. If you leave for any other reason...You have deserted them in their greatest time of failure and need... In WAR! You have loved self more than them...And you are to remain unmarried!Or be reconciled to them again...Because in God's Eyes... YOU ARE STILL MARRIED! Get this in your heads my brothers and sisters!! Is your spouse dead?Have they been unfaithful to you? LISTEN…YOU have NO Biblical right to leave them due to struggles or behavior!! PERIOD... END OF STORY! (Separate for safety, YES!) Do you follow Christ or the world? Do you trust His Wisdom... Or feel you are somehow more intelligent?! Then stop following the world's messed up version of marriage... (Which we all see where it has taken us!) Pick up your sword...And choose to stand by…Your imperfect, fallen, broken, sinful battle buddy...And learn together…What REAL LOVE can become THROUGH the battle! The world will stop at NOTHING to destroy everything God's plan for marriage builds and protects... As our families become casualties of the war! When will we have the same zeal... The same persistence... The same strength...In defending it?! And use our marriages to serve our God in these Last Days...Rather than simply focusing on US?! Let's hear that verse in closing... With all of the meaning the original language, and supporting passages describes in modern paraphrase… Genesis 2:18, 21-24 (NDV) "New Dougie Version" 18 Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will... Take a literal part of him... And create a warrior to stand by his side... Who's purpose will be to complete him physically and emotionally... And the two will show My Very Image in their character... As they fight for one another... Lift each other from despair and sin... Place one another before even themselves... In complete loyalty and faithfulness... Above all others… As I Do! And they will hold fast to one another... Until they become ONE in their journey together!! You are NOT just their husband... You are NOT just their wife...You are their "Ezer"... Stay in the Battle, by their side... Through Our King's Spirit that lives in you...For Our King's Glory...Until the end! This is where true love is formed!
Take our marriages BACK from the world's hold! PRAY FOR… AND TOGETHER… SEEK GOD’S PURPOSE AS A TEAM… AND SERVE! SUPPORT… FORGIVE… RESPECT… DEFEND… LOVE… SERVE THEM… STAY… TO THE END!
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