If manliness is an art, it is a lost art today. Modern, secular psychologists (ex. Dr. Philip Zimbardo) research shows the foundation for the male role in America has crumbled; their performance has declined, largely due to video games and internet pornography, as well as a loss of motivation and direction in society and life. The result is no confidence that they can make a difference, no clear definition of what is expected of them or who they are expected to be, no motivation to accomplish anything, no desire or respect or care for anyone else, no appreciation for anything done on their behalf, they don’t see family, children or women in healthy, desirous ways and they have become weak, passive and apathetic. The way of the man in a society establishes the way of that society (DHHR, Bureau of Census, CDC, Criminal Justice & Behavior, DOJ, etc.)—all agree that the absence of male leadership is a primary contributor to this Nation’s increase in: behavioral and emotional disorders, suicide, run aways, murder, rape, theft, high school dropouts, alcohol and drug use, promiscuous sex, dropping church attendance… Men: you are the single biggest cause of this Nation falling apart and turning away from God and destroying families. And men are being taught that being ‘manly’ is chauvinistic or politically incorrect. This isn’t to sound anti-woman—we are equal, but different in so many ways. We should celebrate, envelop and be consumed in everything God called you to be as a man—unapologetically.
As a Christian, in spite of all the attacks, propaganda and prejudices against male roles, you have no excuse for being affected by them. Why should your image, role, calling change because of society’s opinion? You have your instructions spelled out for you by God through His Word. So many times men resist becoming a Christian because they are viewed as soft or effeminate—but just the opposite is true—that’s why so few want to take on the role of man as defined by Christ. If you want to step into the manhood for which God created—the first step is this is to man up. Isaiah 6:8, 1 Corinthians 16:13. 1) If you have been deserted by a father, with no one to follow—don’t use a lack of Godly leadership and knowledge as a crutch—God’s man will not stop just because he wasn’t shown: Proverbs 15:22: God’s man will follow his Heavenly Father; he will study, ask, watch, learn—then he will lead others in love and strength. 2) If you are in a troubled marriage—realize there is more at stake than your temporary unhappiness—realize your actions massively affect the emotional, social, spiritual, mental and physical future of your children. Stay where you are if possible; if not—realize that your responsibility to that child(ren) does not change. 3) If you are a ‘guardian’ of children not yours—all in need of a man’s love, guidance and direction—it is your responsibility to help the helpless; love the widow and orphans. Don’t replace the father in their lives, but make it clear that this is your home, and you are the man of your home—be their direction, authority, love and acceptance when they are there. *Women and biological fathers: if that man is a good man—let him be the man in his home. Don’t handicap and diminish a man in his own home—you’re teaching your children to disrespect authority.
Young Men: Men have missed where they are supposed to step out of adolescence and into manhood. You are the warriors God chose to defend this world—not spend all your free time playing video games, social media, watching pornography, partying, living at home with your parents for the rest of your life. This selfish, disrespectful binge in sex and pornography has destroyed how the average guy sees any woman. There is such a rich intimacy in getting to know and appreciate all the mysteries of a woman, discovering every step of intimacy in time, as you see and feel the worth they have; you should be the one to guard her sexually because she is too special. You have been called to be the protectors, servants, leaders and encouragers of your families and friends. You don’t get away with as little as possible; you don’t wait to be told, asked or begged to step in and help; you realize your calling is so much bigger and more noble than where you are now. You should be looking for ways to help those around you, wherever you live—serve. You should be thoughtful in spending and respectful in conduct. No one owes you anything. God promises to use you as men—ask Him how He wants to use you and follow; decide your life is going to count for more. You leave adolescence when you choose to stop consuming spiritually, emotionally and materially and become a producer in others.
Aged Men: God didn’t call you to get away with as little as possible either! He called you to teach your children about Him (not just have your wife and church do it). He called you to make the hard calls about what is acceptable in your home (TV, dress, conduct, respect, habits). He called you to be the disciplinarian, the encourager (your words mean the most). He called you to give up your pleasure, rest and pride to be sure others are taken care of first. He called you to put family above your hobbies, sports, friends and excessive work. He called you to respect, love and care for your wife (deserving or not) because you are to be for her what Christ is for the church. Leaving is never an option. He called you to protect her from anyone and anything (physical or verbal)—she should always know she is secure with you. Stop worrying about whether your wife will want you to or let you be the leader in your family—if you will lead because you consider her and your family precious and cherished, with their best in mind (even when it costs you every time), as a humble, serving leader (like Christ), she will follow you, help you, desire you more than anything. And if she doesn’t—keep on doing it anyway; let God work on her heart.
Stop letting the world be your excuse to shirk your calling and responsibilities. Stop being ashamed, or feeling guilty for just being a man—for thinking it is your responsibility to love, provide, protect and lead—you have a role, a place, a mission. Scripture and secular studies say men are the only hope this Nation has, of making a recovery from where we are. There is no greater joy for a man, than to shed the useless, weak, uncertain, impotent existence the world has groomed us for, and choose to step into the ranks of manhood as God intended. Ezekiel 22:30.
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