We are living in a time where lifestyles (homosexuality/alcoholism) are blamed on our genetics. Bad habits and actions are blamed on society and upbringing. Doubts, fears and depressions are blamed on incidents and traumas in life. Bad attitudes are blamed on treatment from the mean people around us. And poor moral choices are blamed on everything from, “it’s just natural”, to cultural trends, to financial necessity. All show complete focus and concern on self.
The words: "That's just who I am; that's just how I feel; and there's nothing I can do about it”, have become so commonplace and accepted that we are judgmental and bigoted if we challenge these statements. As Christians, we have been saturated with the same mentality. Everything we know we should resist, change, or abstain from is blamed on the influence of our world around us; the attacks and influence of Satan; the weakness in our own sinful flesh; or sometimes, even God Himself—for allowing something to happen; or not causing something to happen; or not making us a different or better person; or not giving us better opportunities, better parents, a different life. It's not like this is something new [Garden of Eden]: Genesis 3:11-13. In the first sin ever committed, within the first few seconds of inquiry, blame was shifted from God, to world, to Satan all within moments. Unfortunately, God didn’t accept these blame shifts as excuses, and He doesn't accept them now.
Every one of us accepts these excuses of blame on others, for just about every fault that we carry in our lives. If we didn't, we would change. But instead, we lean on these reasons as justification for who we are, or how we feel, or how we always react, or how we treat others. Settling for, "This is just how things are, and I can't or won't do anything about it.” Some of the deep-rooted causes of using blame, often fall into these mentalities. Be completely honest before the Spirit of God inside of you, and see if you can find yourself in these descriptions: 1) Victim: We blame others or God for our inability to move on, or do better, or change our ways and thoughts in life, then we have an excuse to feel comfortable and even justified in our sin without guilt. [I didn't cause what happened to me; I didn't make these circumstances; I can't help how this makes me feel, or how hurt I am]. We have a subconscious reason in our mind not to care if we offend or hurt others with our actions because of the pain that we are feeling. 2) The Prideful: We are so confident and sure of ourselves that it just couldn't be our fault. We couldn't be the one who is in the wrong, we are just reacting to the sinful actions of others. [They deserve my treatment and attitude because of their sinful ways, so we blame others; or, in our pride, we are just too worried about how we look in front of others to ever admit that we have something which needs to be dealt with. To admit sin would be to admit they weren't in control, didn't have it together. It would mean they actually needed help or change in their lives. It is easier to just hide it, not deal with it, than admit to imperfection in front of others. So, in a direct sense, you are still blaming others for your inability to deal and cope with your sins]. 3) The Insecure Person: Who in their insecurity is still more focused on self, than those who they feel are better than themselves, therefore they can justify not showing or admitting fault; not ever facing and changing their sin. [In order to protect their reputation; in order to protect themselves from further insecurity and depression; in order, sometimes, to be better accepted in their sins], therefore in their eyes, the blame is cast again on society, and the position into which they have been thrust. (They can't help it) 4) Those Unwilling or Not wanting Change: Those that simply hide behind a purposeful directing of blame; to hide sins they know are there—know are all them—simply because they want to continue to sin without consequences, and they want to make others look at fault, in an attempt to justify their lifestyles and sins. For whatever reason we cast the blame in other directions, what we have to realize is that to do so is one of the deadliest poisons possible to the soul. To shift blame for our sins and faults allows us to continue sinning with less guilt, even feeling secure in sin—justifying our sins at times, in our own eyes. It takes away all responsibility for our actions and failures, causing us to lose the will or need to even try to change. It allows you to maintain an appearance of righteousness in front of others, while never addressing the sin inside. It causes you to keep your thoughts only on self, which is the complete opposite of all that God teaches us; which is the opposite of all that will truly help us find joy and love. Some fall into this trap of Blame Shifting, allowing them to hold on to the same weaknesses, pain, habits or influences, for months, years, or even a lifetime; living completely defeated lives for Christ. And staying isolated from Him because of their justified sin.
There is an unpopular truth amongst Christian teachers, which is absolutely crucial, but often neglected. To neglect this Truth defies reality and prevents healing. That truth is simply this: it is absolutely true that blame can and should be cast on: events in life, causing pain, trauma and bitterness; influences, teachings of others, and cultural views; Satan's direct attacks, aimed at influencing, hurting and misleading; natural and learned fleshly desires, that become part of us. To say these things do not affect our thoughts, views, choices and even character is ridiculous. They are all a part of our very lives. They are very real temptations, stumbling blocks and paths laid before us, which may very honestly have changed our thoughts and actions from what they would have been otherwise. Just like Adam and Eve in the Garden, (what if there had been no Satan that day?), to make a change, to remove or resist sin doesn’t start by denying the effects of these things in your life. Rather to first accept the truth of these influences as a reason; accept that these influences can reach a fallen, sinful heart; but then accept that regardless of the events, influences and lies, you have something the rest of the victimized, controlled, beat down, hurting world doesn't have: 1 Corinthians 2:6-7; 1 Corinthians 2:12-16: you now have a timeless, unstoppable, perfect truth to measure and live your life by; you now have the power, influence and love of the very God of creation to help you apply those truths over the lies affecting you. We must accept that we do have a million directions to very truly push blame, but that our fault lies in not accepting the Power and Truth with which to overcome that pain and influence. The blame stops, and it becomes all on us. When we are given that Truth over the lies we've heard—truth the world doesn't have; truth we once may not have had—when we are given the Power within to overcome—power greater than ourselves—that is as real to those seeking Him as the chair under you. When we are introduced to the Love needed to cover the bitterness and pain caused; when we see the Wisdom beyond the ways we have followed, and the effects on the world living without that Wisdom—when we meet the One who loves us so much that He gave up everything—and we still choose not to believe and trust Our God and Savior over feelings and man's wisdom, not to be humble enough to admit our sins before God, and our brothers and sisters, and even the world in order to proclaim God's ways over sins, not be willing to take on the discomfort, inconvenience, and even downright struggle to renew our minds, and even change our physical lives if necessary in order to follow His Ways over our sins. There is not one single soul on this planet without solid reasons to be someone other than who God called them to be in righteousness. Everyone has been programmed wrong—tainted by events in life, hurt, misled in some way and saturated with improper and even unnatural feelings and ideas that have become a part of who they are now. Until it is a simple fact that everyone has a solid reason for being who they are, and acting as they do; everyone has a legitimate excuse for their mistakes, vices, character flaws and learned traits if they look hard enough. Some of the things which have molded, changed, tempted and hurt you may always be a part of you, always be baggage in your life, but God promises that baggage can be turned into a powerful weapon of war rather than a weight around your ankles. If we will trust God and His plans in our lives and push through to become what He created us to become anyway: 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ; to use these reasons as an excuse to be defeated is an insult to the power of Christ in your life. Do you think that God has lost control and that you are out of His reach when these things occur? Do you not realize that some of these very things that cause us to want to blame others for our excuse to be unrighteous was simply God's way of testing our hearts? To see if we would treasure and hold to His righteousness over the world anyway? James 1:2-4; James 1:12. It comes down to this: is God real or not? Is He more intelligent than us? Do you trust Him or do you not? Will you believe Him when it goes against your feelings? When it goes against your will? When it cuts across your struggle of pain or hurt? If these answers are yes, then your actions must back those claims, or you will never, ever heal, change or grow from where you are now. Instead of blaming others or events in life, ask yourself if the way you are acting is acceptable to God and His Word, regardless of the reasons that brought you here. If they are not, ask yourself, do you want to change, or do you want an excuse to live in your sin? 1 Thessalonians 5:21-22. Stop thinking you have special circumstances or extreme reasons that make you an exception to continue improper behavior or attitudes that puts all the focus, care and worry on you, and takes all the trust and purpose away from Him. Don't confuse programmed feelings and improper thoughts with who you are as a person. We have all been influenced into fallen, broken people. True change starts with a choice above the feelings. Until God's Truth and Love can take root enough to reshape those feelings: Romans 12:2. The biggest and final question is: Do you want to truly change? To truly become more righteous? Or do you want to hide behind the blame, having become comfortable and content in your isolated world. Relaxing in your excuse for sin? Using your justification to be someone you know you should no longer be? At the expense of true happiness and fellowship with God? James 4:4-8. It doesn't matter if the reasons for your sins can be blamed on the influences of the world—Satan's attacks, your fleshly passions, things that have happened to you, or even your warped view of God Himself—you alone have the choice to believe and follow God's Truth over these reasons for failure and sin. Let go of the blame, and grab a hold of God's truth. the world is too busy preparing to war against us for us to struggle and waste strength in these things.
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